The 4 (Joke) Steps of First Aid
These steps can be used to revive someone three days dead
First Aid provides the first line of defense in the case of an injury or predicament. But did you know that there are only four steps to first aid that one has to perform for any situation? Here are the 4 steps to first aid that you can use to prevent a man from going to Peter’s gates.
Step 1: “Is the scene safe”
Always make sure the scene is safe. There could be something in the way that could potentially hurt you, and that. To properly follow this procedure, you must spend at least 20 minutes making sure that the scene is safe. You and your patient are in your house? Doesn’t matter, check for 20 minutes. He’s bleeding out? Sucks to be him, make sure the scene is safe for 20 minutes.
Step 2: Apply tourniquet
Identify the area of injury and then apply a tourniquet to it. No matter the injury a tourniquet will solve the problem. Arm chopped off and bleeding out: apply a tourniquet. Gash on leg: apply a tourniquet. Sprained ankle: apply a tourniquet. Small cough: you know what to do.
Step 3: “Sir, are you okay? Are you okay sir?”
Is he conscious? Best to make sure by asking him repeatedly if he is okay. It’s best to ask these questions while lightly tapping or violently shoving the patient. If he responds after the first question, continue asking and prodding because his first response may have been a fluke.
Step 4: Suck out the poison
Do it.
This joke first aid procedure was developed by me and my friends in Boy Scouts. Do not follow this guide. If you are looking for actual first aid advice, I advise checking out the red cross and receiving training.
